Why...
...am I so afraid? I'm afraid of talking to people.

When did this happen?

I now have a new job, as a live-in baby sitter. Granted, I never did actual baby sitting in the past, and suddenly being a live-in one... I should be moving in after I get back from San Diego. Where Anthony is.

And I had a dream that I lost my pair of shoes and had to free dive to get them back, a seventy foot deep dive. Took me awhile to find my pair, there were a lot of other people's shoes at the bottom too. And my lungs weren't bursting for oxygen. It was like, I knew I could stay underwater for as long as I need to.

A quick trip to the dreamoods.com site, the shoes basically means something about myself and the bit about losing my pair of shoes and finding them again, pretty much means I lost my identity and found it again. Maybe my determination to change my major and the new job was decided in my life. And so, a new beginning.

And the choice to leave Anthony and most of my friends behind. I feel kind of resolute and... calm. But at the same time, I'm still afraid of talking to people.

I tried sleeping but failed after 3 hours attempt to sleep. I'm having my wisdom teeth removed in about maybe 5 hours. All four of them. Yay.

Also, I was given my mom's nano iPod as she wants a new (bigger) iPod. All because I discovered the wonderful use of this cord that plugs directly into my cochlear implant, so awesome. No one can hear the music (or otherwise heard from an iPod, tv, computer, etc). And sometimes I can't even hear them, only the sounds being played by the machine. I'm still figuring out how to do that because right now, I can hear the background noise (such as people talking). It's really weird, I keep thinking that people can hear the music but they can't.

Yeah, I might've neglected to say that I'm deaf to you readers of my journal. ^^; But yeah, case in point, this cord rocks better than headphones.